Today my husband and I have been married for ten years. We watched our wedding video together, which really put into perspective how much can happen a decade! Two grandmas that walked down the aisle have passed away, my cousin (who I watched give me a hug in the receiving line) was in a fatal rock climbing accident, my sister and one bridesmaid were pregnant with their now nine year-old daughters, dearest friends have gotten married, and the pitter patter of little feet are everywhere!
I am proud of us. Given that my parents divorced when I was three, I didn't have an example of how marriage works (or even a brother to show me how men think and act in general. ;) Adam was in Mississippi at pilot training while we were dating and we were only engaged for nine months after that, so I have to admit that I walked semi-naively into our marriage.
I actually was slightly amused when I listened to the vows we created for each other. That everyday we were going to keep our marriage fresh, bring imagination, give the best of ourselves, and wipe each other's tears with our kisses. As if we were going to get married and float on a cloud of happiness forever. Right?! I learned quickly though. I left my college house (and the eight girls I lived with) and moved to Federal Way... where I didn't know anybody... and my husband left on trips a week at a time. That was enough of a reality check for me that this wasn't going to be easy.
We've learned a lot in ten years. At first, it took many long (sometimes tearful) nights of talking things through and getting to know more about each other. Now that we have ten years of experience, thankfully we don't have many of those nights anymore. I have figured out what makes my husband happy, what makes him sad, what makes him frustrated, what makes him feel loved. I know that he has weaknesses, but I choose to focus on his strengths. I know that he loves me and would go to the ends of the earth to make me happy. I am beyond thankful that he chose me to be his wife and wouldn't want to walk through this adventure of life with anyone else.
I really do attribute the success of our marriage to our relationship with God. There is just something about praying together, letting him hear my innermost thoughts and listening to his. There is something about going to small group together and discussing the book afterward with the fireplace glowing in the background. There is something about worshipping next to him at church and hearing his voice raised up to God. There is something about serving other people together. There is something about watching him read the bible and setting a Godly example for our boys. There is something about having confidence that if one of us passes away, we will be reunited in heaven. I love these lyrics by Dave Barnes...
God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
For when I think I’ve lost my way
There are no words here left to say, it’s true
God gave me you
Our wedding day was simple, but incredibly special and intimate. Our unity candle may not have lit, but our marriage is still going strong. We had gotten to know the pastor who married us through pre-marital counseling, but I wasn't expecting to see him tear up at one point during the ceremony. Afterward, Adam told me our pastor had pulled him aside to share that he thought we were going to do something amazing together someday. I have never forgotten that and can't wait to see what God has in store for us.
On the night of our wedding, before we fell asleep, Adam whispered in my ear, "I'm glad I married you." And now ten years later, he still says "I'm glad I married you" before we fall asleep each night. Even when he is half-way across the world.... even after an argument... even when I don't feel like I deserve it. I can say with every ounce of my being though, I am glad I married him too.
