Tuesday, January 29, 2008

More FUN in the snow!

We woke up yesterday morning to snow decorating our neighborhood as far as you could see. It was so beautiful. Adam had the day off so our family got to play in the snow together until we were frozen and starving... then we came in and made some cookies. :)

As I've learned since marrying my husband, he prides himself in finding a unique way to have fun. So he spent the morning towing Jacob and Gavin on their little sled with a go-cart, motorcycle, and any other toy he could find that worked in the snow. What an ideal daddy for two boys! ;)

Saturday, January 26, 2008

A Broken Heart

A friend wrote this article and as I read it, my eyes immediately filled with tears. Tears because it happened to me... tears because memories of my own broken heart came flooding back.

I had a miscarriage in March of 2005, when Jacob was fifteen months old. We were trying for a second child and were more than ecstatic to see the positive pregnancy test. I remember running to tell Adam as he was attempting to fill a crack in our sliding glass door. Whatever he used had the opposite effect, so as I showed him the pregnancy test, we watched our glass door shatter behind us. How's that for an earth shattering response?

We were at the mall that night and made a little t-shirt for Jacob. It had his sweet face with fireworks in the background and said, "I'm going to be a big brother!" And that was how we told everyone without saying a word. Jacob would run into each house with his shirt on and family would bubble over in excitement and congratulations.

I don't remember feeling anything different from my first pregnancy. I was really lucky with Jacob to slide through the first trimester without morning sickness, so I just thought it was another easy pregnancy. Everything seemed fine until my first ultrasound turned my world upside down.

I was eight weeks along, holding onto Adam's hand and anxious to see our baby. When I saw the picture on the screen, I was immediately confused. It did not match the picture of the eight week fetus that I had seen in my pregnancy books. My ultrasound technician told me in a reassuring voice that the baby looked about 4 to 5 weeks, so it would be difficult to see anything in the ultrasound yet.

Upon leaving the appointment, I felt my heart sinking. Without a doubt, I knew I had been pregnant for at least eight weeks. Adam kept trying to convince me that I was mistaken, that our baby would be fine. I tried to keep a glimmer of hope but deep down inside, I knew something was wrong.

My midwife wanted me to have my blood drawn every other day to see if my HCG levels were increasing. Each time it was drawn, they stayed the same... which wasn't good news for us. Finally, one week later, we had a second ultrasound. It confirmed what we had been dreading to see, that the lining around our baby had started to deteriorate.

We saw that our neighbors were home as we drove into our cul-de-sac, so we handed over Jacob in tears. We needed some time alone. I remember laying in our bed, praying and crying together for over an hour. Later that evening, we went for a drive and ended up at a riverbank. It was pure serenity to watch the river flowing in front of us. Everything was quiet, and even though our hearts ached, we could feel God comforting us in the beauty of his nature. I couldn't fathom having a D&C procedure, so I decided to have the miscarriage on my own. I realize now that it wasn't the best decision. Miscarrying my baby was an absolutely horrific experience that I couldn't (or wouldn't ever want to) describe.

It's been almost three years now, but certain things bring me back to the emotions I felt then in an instant. I take comfort in knowing that God had a plan for us, and that plan was to bring sweet Gavin into this world. If everything went well with my second pregnancy, then we wouldn't have Gavin. And I just can't imagine our life without him. Someone gave me a book when I was going through this experience called ~ I'll see you in Heaven. That will be a beautiful day.

Seriously... they really do!

So I had to add one more to my last post. ;) I was getting ready for school in the morning, when I heard Jacob talking about bringing his ship to Donna's house. I can usually talk him out of bringing his toys to wherever we are going by telling him ~ we should leave it at home, just to be sure it doesn't get lost. So now he is convinced that if he can fit it in his pocket, it won't get lost. He spent a few minutes trying to fit the ship in his jean pockets. No luck. Just some shouting in frustration that it wouldn't fit. When I checked on him a few minutes later, he was all smiles with his zipper undone. "It fits in this pocket Mommy! Let's go!"

Monday, January 21, 2008

Kids do the Darndest Things!

Gavin and I were laughing and playing on my bed, when his tooth connected with my upper lip. My lip split open and started bleeding like crazy. Adam ran to the kitchen to get some ice and here was the result. Gavin watched me with a sad little face for awhile, but it wasn't long before he decided to latch onto the other side. I don't know if it was out of sympathy or if he was just experimenting to see what the heck I was doing. ;)
It looks like corn on the cob, it feels like corn on the cob, but it sure doesn't taste like corn on the cob! (Gavin loved pretending and making munching noises up and down his cob though)

After getting Jacob ready for bed, we found Gavin in the bathroom (as we do frequently) pulling all of the toilet paper off the roll. To his delight, he managed to get the entire roll piled up on the bathroom floor. We decided that the natural consequence would be for him to carry the toilet paper to the garbage can in the kitchen. Since he was upstairs at the time, it took awhile... but he did it all by himself.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008


I've been able to capture some cute bonding moments between Jacob and Gavin lately. Realize that this is an extreme rarity, as our days are usually filled with attempting to annoy each other, grabbing toys out of hands, and screeching for mom. If ever I find them playing together quietly, I soak up the moment in awe for as many minutes as it lasts.

So you could imagine how fast I ran for my camera when I saw them all cuddled up on the couch together. Usually, if one even comes near the other, upset voices fill the room instantly. So the fact that they were not only near each other, but CUDDLING?! Unbelievable. I did find out later that afternoon that Gavin was running a fever. So in all actuality, he was probably just too exhausted to argue.

Then yesterday, I got out one of Jacob's new Car games and was teaching him how to play. Gavin crawled up to join us and before I knew it, they were taking turns spinning the arrow and placing their plastic circles on the Bingo cards. Honestly... no tears or tantrums for over ten minutes! Just patiently taking turns and playing their first game together. Awwww...

Tuesday, January 08, 2008


Adam and I celebrated our seventh wedding anniversary at Whistler this weekend. His parents have a condo up there, so we were excited to be able to stay with them. This year was particularly special because Jacob was old enough to have his first ski lesson. OK, so let me back up a bit. Ever since Jacob was in my tummy, his grandpa has been talking to him about skiing. He is an avid skiier and dreamed that one day Jacob would follow him with his little skis down the mountain. He has sat Jacob on his lap and talked about taking him up to the "peak" so many times that I'm pretty sure it was one of his first words.

I've never been skiing, and have only made a few feeble attempts at snowboarding. So to my absolute thrill, I found that they had opened up a tube park recently. We took Jacob there the first day and had so much fun pulling him around in his giant tube and going down the hills together. It's set up almost like a waterslide park, only you link on with your family at the top and all ride down together. There are eight different lanes, all varying in curves, bumps, and height up the mountain. It was the highlight of my time there and we even built a snowman at the top of the lift together. :) Jacob was very brave and had the biggest smile on his face the entire time. (I used my mother-in-law's camera here, so I'll have to post the pictures when I get them from her)

As for the ski lesson, it went pretty well. Of course, those bitty little skis were my favorite. It was snowing really hard, so Jacob spent most of his time rolling down the mountain, making snowballs, snow angels, and climbing up steep crevases. What can you expect from a four year old who was playing in the most snow he had ever seen? It was pure winter wonderland and he loved every second of it. He did ski a few times though, when his teacher could find him. ;)

Adam's parents watched the kids so we could go out for an anniversary dinner. We actually were married on Adam's birthday, so we celebrated his birthday as well. I know... a little random, but we had some really significant reasons to get married on that day. First of all, it was on that exact day two years before that Adam had first written to me. It was also my grandparents wedding anniversary, so we loved the idea of getting married on January 6.

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Hair gel

I take Jacob to get his hair cut about once a month. (Luckily, Gavin's hair looks cute when it grows out a little so it's not as high maintenance. ;) At the end of the haircut, they always ask if Jacob wants gel in his hair. I don't usually put gel in his hair, but it's such a small amount that he doesn't even notice. Yesterday though, the lady put gobs and gobs of gel in his hair. And he immediately noticed. Here is what I heard all afternoon until I helped him get the gel out.

"Mommy, that lady put drool (it sounded like either drool or jewel)in my hair!"

"Help get my drool off!"

I patted him on the head and told him it looked cute.

"No, don't pet it!" Then he felt it and cried, "Oh no! I got more drool!"

"This is making me SO SAD!"

"Mommy, I need some water to get it out. I need a bath!"

So finally, after the drool dried, we got it all out. And he will probably never want gel in his hair again. :)

Tuesday, January 01, 2008