Safe and sound

We are back in Russia... this time to bring our little girl home!  We have been waiting just over a year for this special day and we are so excited!!  It is completely surreal that I don't have to hand Ella back to her caregiver with a sinking heart and tears in my eyes this time.  We actually get to walk out the door with her in our arms!!
 
There's only one thing that pulls on my heart strings.  Ella has a special relationship with one of the caregivers...  you can just tell.  She reaches up to her, nuzzles into her chest, and almost walked right back out the door to follow her on our last trip.  This caregiver also just beams and glows for Ella.  When she enters the room, Ella happily goes right to her.  This has been one of the most comforting things for me on the first two trips.  Because it makes me feel, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that she is well-taken care of and loved (to the best of their ability) here.  They won't share any information as far as how many orphans are in this baby home, or let us see any part of the orphanage (other than the room we are in).  I'm beginning to think it's a good thing though.  If Ella is left in her crib for the majority of the day... I would truly rather not know about it.  Just let me take this sweet relationship she has with her caregiver and envision that she is being loved on all day.  It may or may not be the case, but I'd just rather have that be the vision etched in my mind.  ;)

I was trying to figure out how to thank her, how to thank all of the caregivers.  How do you thank someone for loving on your daughter for the first year of her life?  It's absolutely priceless, I tell you.  I feel beyond grateful, beyond appreciative, beyond words.  They don't speak any English though and I hardly know any Russian.  Well, I was talking to someone at our adoption agency who prepares us for our trips to Russia and she said she would be honored to translate my letter for me.
   
"We would like to thank you for taking such amazing care of our daughter during the first year of her life. We can see the love she has for you and how happy she is. We also just want you to know how much we love her already. She is such a sweet, curious, and beautiful little girl. Her three brothers are very excited to meet her and we know they will adore her as well. We can never thank you enough for the time, commitment, and love you have shown our little girl. Also, thank you for being so friendly and making us feel welcome. We will always remember our time in Russia and what an amazing experience it was. We hope to bring her back here one day to experience her great heritage and country."

 Мы хотим выразить Вам нашу благодарность за заботу о нашей дочери, которую Вы дали ей в начальные годы её жизни. Мы видим, как она с любовью откликается на ваше к ней внимание и какая она весёлая деточка. Заверяем Вас в том, что мы уже полюбили её всем сердцем. Она такая прекрасная, любознательная и очень красивенькая малышка. Дома её с нетерпением ждут три братика, которые готовы обожать свою сестрёнку. Мы бесконечно благодарны Вам за вашу заботу и любовь, с которой Вы относились к нашей малышке. Также хотим поблагодарить Вас за Вашу гостеприимность и дружеское отношение. Мы всегда будем с восхищением вспоминать о времени, проведённом в России. Мы надеемся, что когда она подрастёт мы сможем приехать обратно, чтобы она смогла прикоснуться к своим корням и побывать в великой стране своего рождения.

I also decided that I would give her the photobook I made (initially for the judge) of us with Ella, so she can always remember her and take comfort that she is being loved beyond measure.  It has to be hard.  They spend their days taking care of these little orphans, giving them as much love and care as they possibly can.  (Obviously this may not be the case in every orphanage, but I have confidence it is in this one.  I can see it in Ella's little face.)  Then one day, she leaves the orphanage with her family and you never get to see this little girl again.  You will never run into her at the grocery store or hear about her through the grapevine.  You will never see the beautiful girl she grows up to be.  I was telling my friend who is adopting with us my struggle with this, and her story made me feel so much better.  She said that when she was adopting her son in Russia a few years back, she too, felt like he had a special bond with his caregiver.  When Gotcha Day came though, this woman patted her heart and reached up to the sky.  She told me that she was absolutely beaming that this little boy she had grown to love... finally had a family.

There is something else.  I have been open to sharing my story so publicly and vulnerably for two reasons.  One is so I have a journal where I've written everything about our journey to share with Ella someday.   There is another reason though, that's even more important.  I'm sharing our story with hopes and prayers that it might impact someone who is reading it.  That someone might say a prayer in order to see if God is laying adoption on their heart as well.  That someone who already has a heart or desire to adopt will make steps toward starting their journey.   That there might be another orphan in this world who finds a family to love and care for them.   Well... it happened today!!  Someone I know sent me a message a few weeks back, asking me about my experience and if I would recommend our adoption agency.  I said YES, shared some information, and I just got a message saying that they decided to start the process in Russia with our same adoption agency!  My heart is bursting.  I am so overjoyed for them... and for the little boy or girl that God will place in their hearts and lives.  It's an indescribable feeling and I can't wait to hold them up in prayer as they begin their adoption journey!

So if you ever have any questions, I'd be soooooo happy to answer them.  If you are considering adoption, I would love to pray for you.  If you are my family or friend, I can't wait for you to hold Ella.  She is the most amazing little girl I've ever met in my life and we are beyond blessed to call her our daughter!

It was confirmed today that Tuesday, December 20th (Jacob's birthday!!!!) will be Ella's Gotcha Day.  In a few short hours, we get to see her again though!