Thoughts on adoption

When I think about our adoption story, I realize how lucky we were.  I'm realizing this is not how all, or even most adoptions go.  I'm realizing how rare it is to actually bring home the same baby who was your first referral.  The more blogs I read, the more I see how challenging the road to adoption can be.  I read about referral after referral being lost.  I read about a mom who longs to adopt, but is unable to get approved by an agency due to past addictions.  I read about a couple who was just about to get their first travel dates, only to hear that a Russian couple had adopted the little girl they thought would be theirs (which can happen anytime up until you are approved in court).  I read about a mom who panicked when she met her referral for the first time, because it wasn't the little girl she was expecting.  I read about a couple who had to turn down their referral after their International Adoption Doctor advised them that the child was at high risk for Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.  As I've heard many times before... adoption isn't for the faint of heart. 

I feel like I've unintentionally given the impression in some of my posts that adoption is fail-proof.  It's not.  Adoption can be messy and confusing and scary and it doesn't always go as planned.  Even with God by your side, it doesn't necessarily mean you will come home with the first referral you were given.  It doesn't mean another couple won't adopt the baby you hoped and dreamed would be yours.  It doesn't mean you won't have to work hard to save, fundraise, and apply for grants to cover the expenses.  It doesn't mean the country you are adopting from won't close its doors to adoption altogether.  It doesn't mean once you bring your child home, they will be doing everything that a typical child does at their age.  I do believe you have to trust in God though.  Trust that He will carry you through the stressful times and the uncertainty. Trust that with time and perseverance, you will bring home the child God handpicked especially for your family.

I remember our pastor telling us one Sunday morning that God may not audibly speak to you about the direction he wants you to take in life, however, we can look to the bible for truth.  Every Scripture passage is inspired by God (2 Timothy 3:16, 17)...  and there are so many verses specifically about taking care of orphans.  Don't get me wrong, I don't think this means everyone is called to adopt.  I just think that if you have a heart for adoption and take that step of faith to pursue it, you don't have to question whether God shares your passion for orphans.  He does.  You don't have to question whether He would want as many as possible to have loving families.  He would.  Or as Matthew West says in this video, "I don't know how it's all going to work out.  I don't even know how I'm going to pay for it.  But when I get to heaven, I have a hard time believing that God is going to ask me why I gave so many orphans a home."

Two years ago, adoption had never crossed my mind.  My husband and I always thought we would have two children and here we were, blessed with three beautiful boys.  Just when we thought our hands were already full... just when we thought life was busy enough... we opened our hearts to the possibility of adoption.  It's amazing to see how something I never thought about doing has become one of my life's greatest passions.  I hope to inspire people to adopt and I hope to walk the road of adoption with them.  Sometimes I just watch in awe as Ella is sleeping in her crib.  As a family, we prayed over this empty crib for more than a year.  Prayed that God would watch over our baby girl in Russia and keep her safe.  Prayed that she somehow would feel loved and special in a crowded orphanage.  Prayed that she would be home soon.  And now here she was, softly breathing and snuggled up with her blanket.  Safe.  Warm.  Happy.  Loved.  It fills my heart beyond measure and I feel honored that we had the chance to experience something as amazing as adopting Ella.